


Things I Wish I Could Tell You When I'm Sober

by sanity_fell



Category: Sally Face (Video Games)
Genre: Awkward Crush, Fluff, I don't know how tags work, I'll figure it out eventually, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, So yeah, first ao3 post please don't hate me, i got high and wrote this, larry gets high and writes out his feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 10:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17938259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanity_fell/pseuds/sanity_fell
Summary: Just a few of the things Larry wishes he could say when he's sober.But until then, getting high and writing everything down will have to do.





	Things I Wish I Could Tell You When I'm Sober

May 15th:

 

your smile is really fucking pretty  
even if it’s hidden from the world most of the time  
the twinkle in your eye is enough to know  
what your beautiful expression looks like under that prosthetic

 

i know i make fun of you for being small  
but  
it’s like  
you were made to fit in my arms  
wrapped up perfectly but somehow never close enough  
god i just want you to love me  
god i hope you love me blue bird

 

the microwave beeping  
reminds me of your hilarious mocking tone  
when you’re teasing me  
and laughing so hard that  
your prosthetic  
begins to  
slide  
and i get to see how much your cheeks hurt  
from grinning too wide

 

i really hope you didn’t mind  
the blood from my nosebleed  
getting on your clothes  
as i pulled you in for a tight hug  
when your prosthetic flew off your face again for the millionth time  
only to hit me again in the face for the millionth time  
and you looked so upset and embarrassed for more than the millionth time  
but all i really wanted to do was to kiss you for the billionth time  
to try and make you feel better

 

i think it’s really cute when you fall asleep during movie night  
leaning your head on my shoulder  
drooling a little bit because of your split lip  
you always apologize and get super fucking flustered  
but god i just love being able to feel your skin on mine  
even if it’s only the smallest bit  
blue bird please i need more of you  
i need you in every way imaginable  
emotional  
physical  
i wish you felt the same way  
about me

 

your nightmares bothering you are never a bother to me  
i want you to talk to me  
only me  
no one else  
when you need help coming down  
words  
traveling through airwaves  
four floors above me  
into the receiver  
your voice a whisper through harsh static

 

please don’t get mad at me  
for eating the last two frozen bean and cheese burritos  
i know you bought them  
to keep in our freezer  
for when you spend the night  
and you start to feel anxious  
and need something to eat  
a comfort food  
that reminds you of growing up and being able to get through the bad times by yourself  
making you feel strong  
like you had all of the control in the world  
when really  
it was hard to keep the feeling of a calm reality within your grasp  
let me be your calm  
blue bird  
the voice that keeps you grounded  
that keeps you from floating off into space

 

our tree house jam sessions  
could have been a lot more frequent and longer  
had i not been scared  
that you would think  
i was being  
clingy  
annoying  
overbearing  
desperate  
needy  
childish  
for wanting to hang out  
every second  
of every day  
to bask in your glow  
and feel as if  
nothing in our world was wrong  
that all of our hardships weren’t worth worrying about  
and that all we really needed to get through the day  
was each other  
and the sound  
of  
strumming  
from acoustic guitars

 

the polaroids that you and ash take  
are adorable  
of course  
but no camera  
would ever be able to convey  
just how fucking stunning you are  
how interesting  
and fucking metal you are in person  
there is only so much detail  
that a lens can capture  
and that  
would be doing you a great injustice  
a person like you deserves  
to be preserved in only the finest light  
in the most perfect setting  
to be seen at his best  
a simple photograph  
would never do  
one must take in your presence face to face  
to truly understand  
just  
how  
fucking  
beautiful  
you are

 

BLUE BIRD  
I FIND IT SO HARD  
TO TELL YOU ALL THE SHIT THAT IS ON MY MIND  
WHENEVER I SO MUCH AS LOOK AT YOU  
THESE WORDS OF MINE ARE DESPERATE TO COME OUT  
TO MAKE THEMSELVES KNOWN  
TO SPILL FROM MY LIPS LIKE A WATERFALL TO WHOEVER IS WILLING TO LISTEN  
TO WHOEVER IS WILLING TO SEE THAT I’M CRAZY ABOUT YOU  
GOD I’M JUST SO IN LOVE WITH YOU  
ALL I WANT IS TO PRESS MY LIPS AGAINST YOURS  
AND LET THE FLOOD GATES BURST AFTER SO MANY YEARS OF BEGGING  
THAT WE COULD BE TOGETHER THIS WAY  
SOMEHOW  
PLEASE

I NEED YOU TO BE MINE SAL FISHER

 

But this is just a list of things that I could never bring myself to tell you when I’m sober.

My words will live in a notebook hidden among my art supplies, and I'll pray that you won’t accidentally find it.

But maybe...  
Maybe part of me is hoping that you stumble across it so that I’ll finally be forced to face my feelings.  
Forced to stop living my life in fear as I've done for years ever since meeting you.  
...  
...  
...  
...

Or maybe I’ll continue to be a coward just as I’ve always been.


End file.
